coveting with tears....

I didn't say a word until now

Sonia

Your absence is deep, it's lasting

won't you return to us, ask about us?

We wait for you every day

every night, 10pm

you're going to come home,

here it is your car, bright red

you will park, come down

give me your books and your lunch

that you forgot to eat...

Woe Sonia ...

your stuff is waiting for you

waiting for your return so you'll arrange them

your promised me Sonia

you promised to come and we'll arrange the room together

but you broke your promise

you promised to give me the second driving lesson with your car

but you left without a word, gesture or goodbye

didn't let me see you in the new colorful outfits we bought

to tell you goodbye and kiss you

I didn't say word until now

you are with me every moment, every night, every sound

telephone rings, I pick it up excited, it's you to tell me your coming back,

you didn't like it there without us

or did you like it there?

your books await you to study them, my Sonia

why did you leave?

you bought new things, you haven't used them yet

who did you leave them to?

come back to us my cherished one

come back even for one minute to say goodbye

convince me that you are really leaving and don't want me

I love you more than myself.

I didn't say a word until now

but I cannot silence my heart

I don't want to cry for you

I want to put you on the high pedestal that you deserve

I don't want to cry for you

because I don't want to believe

that you're gone, really gone

tell me that you're coming back one day

come back to me my beautiful sister.

At least I'll see you standing for the last time

to kiss me for the last time

I don't want to see you in that white bed

surrounded by machines, poked by tubes

I don't want to see you in that small church

you were asleep, look at me once

why did you leave us?

Won't you have pity on us?

we came here with such hopes

you remember? What are you doing now?

Are you happy? come back my Sonia

Shall I yell louder so you could hear me?

shall I cry so you'll pity me? and come back

Have mercy on us, Oh Sonia

I don't want to mourn you

You really left and you're not coming back

I didn't say it until now.....and I will not.

written June 1976