you're missing your birthday...again

I hate knowing that you will never come back. I’m missing part of my body, my being is not complete without you. Your wisdom, you faith, your belief that everything will be ok. Your uncanny ability to bring peace to my life. Knowing that even at most turbulent times, your essence, you are there and all I have to do is call. But I know you’re not. I deceive myself keeping your phone number and your contact information in my phone, so I can reach you by pushing one button. I deceive myself in spraying your perfume in the air, in putting your lotion on every morning, in reading the passages from the Bible that you read every day. All deceptive act of a grieving crazy woman that is old enough to understand that we cannot hold on to anything on this life but young enough to yearn her mom and still needs the hug and at her touch to make me feel better.

My memories goes to your 80th birthday. You shined like a bright golden sun. You laughed, you sang and you preached. I look at the pictures and I'm in tears......